The Dirty Mistress

Swan Song: Hello Sadness, Goodbye Dirty Mistress

Los Campesinos! released an album just over a month ago. It was inevitable I was going to write about it, and the odds were good it would be something long and overly theatrical. And boy did I deliver on those two promises. “They were a teenage crush, the last of my actual teen years. We were into all the same stuff. I was quiet and awkward, they were noisy and joyful the way . Theirs was the name I scribbled into the margins of notebooks. When I scribbled in margins, it read AS 4 LC!, encircled in a clumsy red-pen heart. Now, we’re both a little older, both like to think we’re a little wiser. In the interim, there have been drunken passes, the occasional disagreement, and the discovery that one of us really likes football and one of us doesn’t. (“I’m not sure if it’s love anymore…” croons Gareth in my ear. Steady on, now.) Today the more refined LC! fan snorts at the mention of You! Me! Dancing!. We’ve changed. And that’s healthy.” It’s possibly the finest use of The Dirty Mistress as a discrete entity I’ve managed. Messy, long, indulgent, heart-on-emo-sleeve, playing with form and dipping into personalities I’ve written in since that first Hold On Now, Youngster review. I’m really proud of it – almost as much as I am embarrassed – and I’d like to think it might hold interest for non-LC! fans because it’s about the album discovery process in general, and about a few other things, I think. This site, at least in my head, is meant to be the respectable face of things, and if I do write about Hello Sadness for it, it will be distilled into a more digestible review. So, it’s a piece I would only have done on Tumblr. Which is why I’m slightly sad to be curtailing this particular experiment. Feeling less like I had to write vaguely publishable stuff freed me up over the summer, to play with everything from recipes . And lots and lots of pictures of cute animals. But doing anything for it – at least, anything beyond reblogging other people’s stuff – slowed down a lot recently. Given that the original idea was to have content be more regular, to encourage people to stick it in their bookmarks, having a Tumblr has become kind of pointless. So consider this a rebranding, a refocusing, and all that PR rubbish.

Look, Ma, I Writ Somethin’!

I realised today I’ve been a little quiet of late, so I’m currently assembling a few posts behind the scenes. However, there are a few recent things from the mouth of my Dirty Mistress that I’ve been really pleased with, though, so it’s time for a little cross-promotion. On Frozen Synapse, and its Similarities to Squares “Like chess. That’s the old chestnut, isn’t it? The holy grail of strategy game design? And yes, Frozen Synapse is a bit like chess: a turn-based game of combat between two opposing sides, different classes – knight, castle, rocket launcher guy, shotgun guy, bishop, etc – each with their own ways of moving and attacking. Most importantly, it shares those mind-expanding moments when you can predict exactly what your opponent will do next, and the agonising slap to the brain when they do something totally different.” On Minigolf Flash Game Wonderputt “Deep in Wonderputt’s DNA are those Grow games, where you click wildly to watch a monitor-sized world bloom into something ludicrous and beautiful. Like those games, the actual ‘game’ part isn’t so important; the visuals are the appeal here. It’s like watching the sketchbook of an accomplished doodler come to life, with enough interactivity to keep you involved.” On Florence & The Machine, as Remixed by The Weeknd “It does all the stuff I imagine people who like Florence think her music does in the first place. It takes Florence Welch, human being with a rather nice voice, which let’s imagine as a single beam of white light, and then runs it through a prism, splitting it into the voices of many, rattling around inside your head. It transcends, into something that can only be supernatural.” On Cooking A Steak to Perfection “Leave the steak. Seriously, leave it alone. No pokin’, no turnin’, no nothin’. You only want to have to turn the meat once, when the bottom is fully cooked. This should take two to three minutes, give or take depending on whether you want it more well-done or rare.”

Call Your Girlfriend: The Dirty Mistress

So, for anyone that doesn’t already know, I went and got a Tumblr over the weekend, and I’m starting to post stuff on it. And — no, this doesn’t mean — look, I still love this here blog, okay? But I’ve got a world of half-finished stuff written, and things I couldn’t quite fit into my ‘vision’ of what this site does (i.e., makes me look vaguely professional). So now there’s The Dirty Mistress, in which I widen my output to include all of my interests (i.e., pictures of puppies and stuff) and inane stuff about my life. It’s like an overweight Twitter, perhaps. After Monday’s wordfest on …But That Was [Yesterday], I went and did something slightly more casual on Frozen Synapse, which I’ll be following up with posts of more disorganised thoughts as I keep playing and then will probably hammer it into some neater review-type shape for this site. That kind of crossover will be reasonably typical, I suspect, as long as I have all this accursed spare time on my hands. Anyway, it’s there for you to use if you want an extra dose of me. You deeply troubled individual. This post brought to you by Robyn: