Hey. My name is Bret. One or two of you may know me better by my online presence as “The Red Bobcat”. An awful name, I know, but one that I’ve had for so long that I could change no more than you could just decide to change who your siblings are.
My font is Comic San MS, text size is 12, grasp on the English language is basic and my style with which I write things online is sloppy.
So! You’ve been warned!
Be prepared to read words like “gonna” instead of “going to”, “rents” instead of “parents”, “tomoz” instead of “tomorrow” and “awful thing that makes me want to scratch my eyes out” instead of “Britain’s Got Talent”.
The reason I’m telling you all this: my good friend Rin Tin Tim asked me if I’d like to get involved in a thing he was doing where he would read, review and then blog about all the new DC comics that are coming out. Now I have to tell you, I am by no means a DC fan. I do read comics but I am very much a Marvel boy. So when I questioned Timbelina about the new comics that were coming out, I was surprised to hear that DC were relaunching all of their big titles from issue 1.
“Resetting the DC universe”, I thought. “Hmmm, heard that one before, DC”. But what do I know? I don’t think I’ve ever actually picked up an issue of Batman before… apart from that time he beat up Predator.
So, what the hell, I decided! To be fair if they’re starting everything again from scratch I’m probably DC’s perfect demographic. I’m geeky, I’m willing to spend money AND I know Jack all about all things DC but am willing to learn!
Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin. I should probably warn you now: SPOILERS!
The first comic I’m going to write about is DC Comic’s very own JUSTICE LEAGUE (their choice of capital letters, not mine). My plan was to read it first, then write about it straight after. However I got half a panel in (not joking) and already had so much to say that I thought I’d better blog while I’m reading it. That’s right, you’re going to read pretty much the first thoughts that cross my mind as I go. God help you.
So we have a cover. It’s your average “all the heroes jumping out at slightly different angles from one point in a generic looking orange background” affair, but whatever. Do I know all these guys? Well, yes. I’m not DC fan but I don’t live under a rock. It’s hard not to notice Superman and Batman straight away. They look a little younger than I would have imagined, but then this is a reset. Plus everyone’s costumes seem a little more detailed that I would have thought. Wonder Woman’s wonder corset for instance seems to be made from a metal of some type… ouch! Also, where the hell are Superman’s red pants? All I can see is blue down there. I know pants on the outside has never been a great idea, but that is just how it is with Superman. And is that Cyborg bottom right? What’s he doing there? I thought he was just a Teen Titan? I really hope he’s there for more than diversity and wasn’t bumped up to the big boys just “because”.
Anyway, lets open her up.
Batman’s being chased by helicopters and we’ve jumped back in time 5 years already. That’s not a bad thing. Especially as it looks like everything was exploding 5 years ago. Happy memories.
Bats is in pursuit of some Zombie/Scarecrow looking dude. So far all he’s said is “RRK”. I assume that translates to “Oh look, Batman is being shot at by those helicopters”.
WAIT BAT-MAN! LOOK OUT! THAT’S NO ZOMBIE/SCARECROW! THAT’S A ROBOT/ORC! You should have known by the way he said “RRK”. Call yourself the world’s greatest detective… pfft!
The page fills with green light and I can only assume it’s Green Lantern? Turn the page… HA! Fire truck to the face. Yeah that’s Green Lantern alright.
OH MY GOD! ROBOT/ORC HAS WINGS?!? AND NOW SPIDER LEGS?!?
Ha, DC you’re winning me over. Mostly because Green Lantern’s pointing out the same things I am. “What is that? A Transformer?” Well played, sir, well played.
Well now their talking about Superman. “They say he’s an alien”. Not sure how anyone would know that because surely good ol’ Clarky boy keeps that to himself no?
Next chapter. We’re in Metropolis and watching someone play American Football. But not for long as Lantern and Bats have turned up. Lantern seems to think he’s going to be able to out muscle Supes, resulting in. Lantern getting hit in the face by a multicoloured cylinder. We’ll assume that’s Superman.
And then it ends! Abrupt but at least it’s promised to show us a fight between Batman and Superman next issue!
There were a lot of things I liked. The fact that Green Lantern didn’t realise Batman was real for instance. Because, let’s face it, that’s how it would be in reality. I mean if you heard that there was some guy dressing up as a lobster and beating the crap out of robbers would you believe it?
I also like the fact that normal people in DC’s new universe seem to hate capes rather than idolise them. Have DC taken a leaf from Marvel’s Spider-man and X-men titles?
This issue would have been an A except they didn‘t explain why Lantern bothered keeping Bats with him. Lantern made fun of Bats for not having powers and Lantern even locked him up in the fight against Supes… so why take him to Metropolis at all? I understand that it’s hard to explain how a utility belt holds up against invulnerability. But as a new reader, DC failed to explain what help Batman can be in a world of powers. (Ok, so Bats stole the Lantern’s power ring to prove he’s cool. But that just stuck me as cocky.)
Overall I liked it. It has definitely done its job in getting my interest. I think I’ll pick up the next issue mostly to see how Batman is going to stop himself from being turned into red mush against Superman.